When you’re the person everyone leans on, anxiety has a lot of material to work with. There’s always another thing to hold, another person to keep afloat. The women I work with often don’t call it anxiety at first. They call it being responsible.
Here’s how to start quieting the noise when stepping back isn’t really an option.
Why “just relax” never works
Your anxiety isn’t random. It’s your system trying to keep all the plates spinning. Telling yourself to calm down ignores the real reason it’s running, which is that you’re genuinely carrying a lot. We start by respecting that, not arguing with it.
Small ways to lower the volume
You don’t need an hour of quiet you’ll never get. Try these in the cracks of your day:
- One slow breath out, longer than the breath in, before you answer or react
- A two-minute brain dump on paper so the loop stops living only in your head
- One thing off the list today, handed to someone else or simply not done
- A pause before you say yes, long enough to notice if it’s a real yes
None of these fix everything. They lower the volume enough to think.
The deeper work
Quick tools help in the moment. Lasting relief usually means looking at why so much lands on you, and the belief that it always has to. That’s where therapy comes in. Together we sort out what’s actually yours to carry and what you’ve been carrying out of habit or guilt. You can read more on my Therapy for Overwhelm and Burnout page.
You’re allowed to set some of it down
You don’t have to earn rest by getting everything done first. Anxiety eases when the load does, and some of that load was never yours to begin with.
The first step is a free 10-minute consultation, no pressure and no obligation. Work with Mary and let’s talk. Outside Arizona? Start here.
For a small, steadying pivot in your inbox each week, subscribe to The Tuesday Pivot, my free newsletter for women. Subscribe here.
